Worst sportswriter in town? Make the call!
I’d like to ask my brethren of Philadelphia, who is the worst sportswriter in our great city of Philadelphia? I know this could be a little overwhelming because the pool of candidates is vast. Kind of like trying to figure out the drunkest guy in the parking lot on Sunday. Below is my list of top offenders. Please nominate potential candidates, as, I’m sure to overlook someone. This is going to work like the stock market, as suggestions and votes are tallied, writer stocks will rise and fall.
By all means, this is not the be all and end all. Any writer at any time is one “LeCharles Bentley is coming to Philadelphia” story away from rocketing up the charts to take the top spot on any given week. These rankings are always vacillating as varying levels gross negligence and idiotic opinions pour from the sportswriters’ minds, through his/her pen, and into the collective consciousness of Philadelphia.
The candidates:
A. Mark Eckel – Trenton Times
Actual story headlines:
Eagles add star-caliber center Bentley; Time to say goodbye to Reid, McNabb; and my favorite – Who’s in who’s out for Eagles.
In the “Who’s out and who’s in” article Eckel attempts to predict the Philadelphia Eagles 2006 53-man roster. In the article he misspells or totally misprints the following:
Correct Name/Eckel’s Name
Jason Davis/Josh Davis
LaJuan Ramsey/DeJuan Ramsey
Donald Strickland/Rod Strickland
Max Jean Gilles/Max Jean Giles
Darrell Lee/Derek Lee
Keyonta Marshall/Keyontta Marshall
And at the time, Eckel was the God damn Eagles beat writer for Christ’s Sake! He also has been known to respond to reader emails with the phrase, ‘I’ve forgotten more than you know.’ But……how…does…..he….know that?
B. Stephen A. Smith – Philadelphia Inquirer
Screams while enunciating every syllable. THE EA-GLES ARE GO-ING to MISS T.O.’S DY-NAM-IC PLAY-MA-KING SKILLS. I actually like to read his articles as if he were speaking to me. Makes it fun. Helps me wade through the shit that is his prose. Loves to make everything about race. Take the following:
Growing up poor black child, the Jamie Moyer story; Thomas Tapeh, African? African American? African African American?
C. Sam Donnellon – Daily News
[I couldn't even find a picture of him]
The king of negativity and smugness. I can’t believe he hasn’t been punched in the face on Daily News Live yet. If I ever got the chance, I’d give him an open hand slap of the greatest proportions. To make it worse for Sam I’d be dressed up like a lunch lady: yellow gloves, hairnet, apron. Just to say that Sam Donnellon got bitch slapped by some dude dressed up like a bitch. Damn, that makes Donnellon what? A bitch’s bitch? A cross-dressing bitch’s bitch? What a bitch. Back on topic here – Donnellon has a gift for spinning any story into a gloomy proposition. Take the following:
A Donte’ inferno? Stallworth comes with baggage; Will Philly chase Utley?; Nagging Dreadache.
D. Jack McCaffery – Delco Times
Not only does Jack look like a raging alcoholic, he writes like one. Now I’m not saying McCaffery is an alcoholic, that would be slander, I’m just saying he’s the spitting image of someone who throws down 10 cold ones before 6:30pm. [Checking watch] It’s 2:30? HOT DAMN, THAT’S COCKTAIL HOUR!
Notable slop:
Mistreatment of T.O. still haunting Birds; McNabb has no right to rip Birds’ spending.
E. Ashley Fox – Philadelphia Inquirer
Fox has really come on strong lately as the Inquirer gave her the opportunity to move to Eagles coverage from 76er coverage. Coming on strong like genital herpes. Fox wrote this back in November:
[The Eagles should] move Brian Dawkins to linebacker. He can tackle. Dhani Jones can’t, or won’t. Plus, Dawkins clearly has lost a step. Did you notice how slow he was pursuing Fred Taylor on that touchdown run that was nullified by a penalty?
If Reid doesn’t want to insert Michael Lewis back into the starting lineup, he could simply move Sheldon Brown from corner to safety, and put Rod Hood, whom Reid considers a starter anyway, opposite Lito Sheppard.
At the time I wanted to ask one question: who plays free safety?
Fox: [twirling hair in one hand, stretching and twirling gum from her mouth in the other]: What’s a free safety?
Sorry that was a cheap shot. I feel horrible.
By the way, the next week Brian “Lost a Step” Dawkins led the team in tackles and passed defensed.
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My rankings:
1. Mark Eckel
2. Jack McCaffery
3. Ashley Fox
4. Stephen A. Smith
5. Sam Donnellon
Other notables:
John Smallwood – Daily News
Frank Fitzpatrick – Inquirer
Phil Sheridan – Inquirer
Mike Sielski – Phillyburbs.com
Your input?
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Just a sidenote, yesterday’s Philadelphia Inquirer sportspage featured one article dedicated to the four Philadelphia professional sports teams. One. There were more articles dedicated to high school sports teams. Way to go Inquirer. Top notch baby, top notch.
About this Post
Posted on February 6, 2007 by Dave | Filed Under Philadelphia
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Ashlet fox sucks.
Great spot…. my only question is who’s left? I think the only sports writer you missed was Rich Hoffman
Yes she does John Tod, yes she does.
Basically anyone that’s on 610’s morning show is god awful.
I dissagree with putting McCaffery on this list. He screamed about how the Phils should trade Abreu to change the character and financial situation of the team 2 YEARS before it actually happened. And we all know how that turned out. Let’s see Eckel SPELL Abreu.
Wow!
Decisions, decisions.
1) Eckel, 2) Fox, 3) Donellon and McCaffrey (tie), 5) Smith.
Its hard, though, to suck as bad as someone who makes up stories (Eckel), or who knows diddly-squat about football (Fox) – and she fell off the ugly tree to boot.
OTOH, my current favorite local Eagles journalism personality – Jade McCarthy on NBC 10 – she’s really hot, she dresses hot for TV, she likes riding horses, and she at least seems to know what she is talking about. Eckel wishes he could be like Jade. Ashley just hates her.
http://www.prestonandsteve.com/picview.php?id=1287
Can I vote for Dave?
Sure you can vote for me, but 1st you have to make an argument.
Sometimes I just get a little tired of the Dave formula, when you find a news article or someone else’s column and then write a sentence about it. And the little skits you like to throw in really just aren’t working for me. Just my opinion. I don’t think it takes a lot of thought process to find an article, link it, and say whether you agree or disagree. I would just like to read something from you a little more open-minded and a lot less self-absorbed.
Your agenda against Mark Eckel? The bloom is off of that rose too. I understand he’s an idiot. I think we all do.
Well Brian, this is a blog, that’s the definition of a blog. Linking articles and providing opinion. And by the way, no one really wants to hear my long-winded opinions with any sort of reference to links/articles anyway. Maybe once in awhile, but not everyday.
Self-absorbed? That would be providing my opinions on things I only cared about, something you did quite well in your earlier posts.
Can I vote for the idiot that wrote about Iverson’s mullet? How come his articles aren’t around anymore? They were really, uh, insightful!
Jade McCarthy. Yum.
It’s Stephen A., followed closely by Frank Fitzpatrick. One can’t write and the other writes like he hates his job.
I love you Chocolate Thunder.
Stephen A. wins the prize for overconfident loudmouth.
I heard that about you Bri!
I agree with Brian to some degree. Think of some original stuff. During the “tryout” period, you posted a million pictures of the flying tackle of Brian Dawkins…nobody cares.
Hey Rob, someone seemed to care. And speaking of originality, the post here that you have commented on was original, as was at least one or two posts per week in the past. Hey maybe you like reading original stuff 100% of the time. Personally I don’t. When I hit up another blog I want links to stuff I haven’t seen, not 100% original opinion. Talk about not caring, reading self absorbed opinion all the time is boring. I need a distraction. Variety is the spice of life.
That’s probably why I posted a mix of things during the “tryout” period. Your opinion is noted.
Stephen A. Smith is a racist hack. I can’t and won’t read him . . . ever. He’s #1, Frank Fitzpatrick, is #1-A.
Wyatt – could you get any different than Smith and Fitzpatrick? Yet they both suck.
I agree with several of these commenters… Frank Fitzpatrick is the grouchiest writer and I have a hard time reading his columns. Though Stephen A. is loud and obnoxious and I also disagree with him on many issues, at least he takes a stance and is upfront about it. Hopefully the Inqy will bring in some new blood sometime soon…
“you posted a million pictures of the flying tackle of Brian Dawkins…nobody cares.”
Actually, that Brian Dawkins article received more hits than during the tryout period than all the other combined because it got linked to by several other sites.
Has there ever been a time where every single writer in this city and on the radio has an axe to grind against the teams of the city?
sithlord…good point. i can’t remember a time quite like this.
still, we also have some radio personalities who are fanboys of certain teams (howard eskin -> Eagles do no wrong)
and the oscar goes to Mark Ekel. He talks worse than he writes.
micah… you are so right about eskin. do you remember him wearing that stinking cowboys jacket on the vet field.
andrew… great call on jade mccarthy, she is smoking hot and knows her sports.